Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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