my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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