You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
