he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
