I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
