In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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