my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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