Well douche your snatch and let's go!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
