you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You were trust falling into bushes
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
