Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
