Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
