Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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