Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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