His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
