So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
