there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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