Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
