I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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