great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
