But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
A+ Viking dick
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