I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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