good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
