you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
