ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
