And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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