Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
