You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
