careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
