Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
