May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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