Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
