I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
