Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
