he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize