I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
