do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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