someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
