There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
