So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
