and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
