I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
