I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
