she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
