Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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