Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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