I'm going to jail i love you
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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