I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
