plz talk dirty to me
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
