Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
