You're so nebulous sometimes
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
