If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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