you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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