The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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