I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
