What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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