Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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