My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
