we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
