Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
