the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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