Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
