You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
