woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
