he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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