The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
