hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
