is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
