dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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