My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
