The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
