I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
